The best kind of bitch to make fun of is a slut (or a whore, or a skank, or a hoe, or a prostitute, or insert name of choice to label the promiscuous biddie). It's easy to hate on a girl who readily spreads her legs for anyone with a hardened sausage.
There are many types of sluts, and they all can suck on my uncle's hairy balls.
Insecure Slut: We all know her. She fucks guys to make her feel better about herself, but then ends up alone, crying with her cell phone in hand, desperately looking for the closest bitch to pity her sorry ass. Because the guy who slayed her 10 times this week won't call her back and has a girlfriend. Can you say booty call? And so starts the vicious cycle of whoredom.
Horny Slut: This bitch thrives on the opportunity to get down and dirty in the Burger King bathroom. She's horny as shit and just can't control her undying, tingling urge for straight cock to the mouth. Whore Tour 2012 is going full throttle, and it's always a surprise to uncover which city this superslut will be performing in next. Jesus woman, have some self-respect. The Other Woman: This wretched home wrecker has no qualms about getting with your man. Doesn't being FB offish mean anything to you? Don't you feel any remorse for ruining a happy relationship? Clearly you're a shameless she-devil, and he is the epitome of a slimy bastard, so you two should go live in slimy-devil hell together, because neither of you despicable monsters deserve to be in my presence.
The Secret Slut: She's the floozy you would never take to be a slut by the looks of her, but she is actually the friskiest one of them all. And she's down on her knees the second Dude of the Hour shuts the door. Behind that sweet smile and underneath those dirty sheets lies a girl who is up for just about anything. She is so concerned about her cutesy reputation that she will go to just about any length (the longer the better) to ensure that NO ONE knows about her wild, shame-worthy shenanigans.
The Two Timer: This little skank is getting around with multiple guys at once and can't seem to pick just one. Fuck, she'll take them all! In my mind, that's a code red, and she's immediately on my long list of "Bitches Who I Will Soon Destroy." Frankly, she's monopolizing the board and tainting any and all of the moderately attractive, eligible males out there. Sorry, but I was semi-looking to get with at least one straight guy in the next year, so stop being such a dirty, disease-infested hog.
Moral of the story: You might be sitting wondering to yourself, "Am I the slut these beautiful girls are speaking of?!" Now don't have a conniption fit just yet, because merely getting with a lot of guys is not the only thing that makes you a slut. Sluts are heartless. They have no soul, no repentance for their repetitious sins, no standards, and most of all, no MORALS. All they want to do is wreak havoc with their vaginas, with no worry in their messed up heads other than when their next O face will be. So just because you've had sex with 15 people doesn't automatically make you a Class One skank....or does it?????
Wow, you don't sound like a woman at all, but rather a bitter, jealous, angry, hateful and obsessed man that cannot get over being dumped b/c of his teeny tiny cock and rampant worthlessness!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I meant to say "man"...
Deletethere are just too many low life women out there nowadays, and it certainly makes it a lot harder for us straight good men who are looking to meet a decent one. gee wiz, more and more women today are into other women now. boy, that does add to the problem doesn't it? and even the straight women seem to have an attitude problem too.
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