BitchingOut: Flakes

Oh, the joy of FLAKES. 

Definition of Flake: See Figure One.
Synonyms of Flake: ditcher, bailer, unreliable, useless, shady, selfish, manipulative, erratic, immature, fool, irresponsible, cop-out, pussy.

Figure One: Typical Fucking Flake

Remember that time that we made plans, like, a week in advance? Remember how we constantly talked about them the entire week?

I do. But I guess you don't, or maybe you're just an asshole, because when that god forsaken day rolled around, you were MI fucking A. You didn't answer your phone. You didn't answer my texts. And you responded 6 hours later with some bullshit excuse about where you were. 

I bet you think I moped around all day waiting for you. HA. WRONG. Cause guess what, ignoramus? I found something else to do, and it was 69 times better than hanging out with your misshapen ass.

Flaking is our number one pet peeve. It's a serious crime, and we'll punish offenders by curb-stomping them and dropping them from our list of worthy friends. Being a flake means you are a dirty, despicable liar. If you can't tell me to my face that you don't want me hanging around your new girlfriend (sorry I'm hot), or that you can't work on that shitty project with me (sorry I'm not doing it myself), then you're a spineless pussy and worthless in my eyes. 

But what I am truly curious to find out is what is going on in these idiotic airheads' brains...Do they think they have me fooled into believing that their phone really just died, or that their mother made them stay home at the last minute? Do they think that they are just that clever and I'm just that stupid? Some fucking coincidence, if I may say so myself. 

So, you better prepare for verbal annihilation if you decide to tell me you're unavailable three hours after we are supposed to hang out instead of just mustering up the balls to tell me before. I promise I'll be a sweet little bitch if you give me a fair warning.

Moral of the story: You're flakier than the nasty-ass dandruff sitting in your hair, flakier than the croissant I avoid eating while on a diet, flakier than the snowflake that drops in my eye, and flakier than the ghetto paint chipping off the wall in my grandfather's dilapidated house...and that's saying a lot you disgusting piece of flaky SHIT. 

What are your worst flaking stories??

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